A Little Humor

Re: A Little Humor

feeds@yuku.com (Michelle Denise) — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 17:58:12 PST

Re: A Little Humor

feeds@yuku.com (JerrLee) — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 16:58:18 PST

Very, very funny Feelines - both of them. Don't you ever wonder who thinks these things up?

Re: A Little Humor

feeds@yuku.com (feelines) — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 02:37:54 PST

A man is walking home alone late one foggy Halloween night, when behind
him he hears:

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP......

Re: A Little Humor

feeds@yuku.com (Michelle Denise) — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 08:47:55 PST

That is pretty funny Feelines.

Re: A Little Humor

feeds@yuku.com (feelines) — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 23:40:49 PST

NEW SUPER MARKET TECHNIQUE

A new supermarket opened in our town.

It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.

I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.

Re: A Little Humor

feeds@yuku.com (Annie in Pain) — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 20:12:41 PST

Re: A Little Humor

feeds@yuku.com (Michelle Denise) — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 14:14:47 PST

We need more humor around here so thanks!

Michelle

Re: A Little Humor

feeds@yuku.com (JerrLee) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 17:27:46 PST

This list was in the fibromyalgia/myofacial pain forum that I've subscribed to. I think they're a riot!

1.I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh**.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I...

Re: A Little Humor

feeds@yuku.com (Annie in Pain) — Tue, 27 May 2008 19:33:27 PST

Re: A Little Humor

feeds@yuku.com (feelines) — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 08:59:55 PST

HILARIOUS Environmental Humor
Actual Correspondance about a Michigan Resident's Dam Building Project in the Creek
This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response letter

(This is the State's Letter!)

SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County

Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property.

You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:

Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.

A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A...

Re: A Little Humor

feeds@yuku.com (Annie in Pain) — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 21:29:11 PST

Re: A Little Humor

feeds@yuku.com (FPDChief) — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 21:03:25 PST

ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT ANNIE! Thanks!

Re: A Little Humor

feeds@yuku.com (Robin) — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 09:45:03 PST

Annie, Welcome Back! We missed you. Great joke above.
Robin

Re: A Little Humor

feeds@yuku.com (feelines) — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 22:46:44 PST

Hehaw!

Re: A Little Humor

feeds@yuku.com (Annie in Pain) — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 18:37:58 PST

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance - particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as AFL 5.0, The Ashes 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system....

Re: A Little Humor

feeds@yuku.com (Elaine2004) — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 13:59:57 PST

feelines,
As long as they don't bury his relative...The pillsbury dough girl.....You all knead me!!!!
Elaine

Re: A Little Humor

feeds@yuku.com (FPDChief) — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 13:20:56 PST

You are too funny Feelines.

Re: A Little Humor

feeds@yuku.com (feelines) — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 00:47:14 PST

Sad news. Prayers are kneaded.

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.

He was not considered to be a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered to be a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife,...

Re: A Little Humor

feeds@yuku.com (JerrLee) — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 01:00:52 PST

[This appeared in a weekly magazine published here in San Diego call The Reader. I was reading it in the waiting room of the pain doctor and laughing when I was supposed to be filling out the dreaded patient information sheets. My girlfriend had to get me back on track. . .]

My dentist looked at me as though he knew a secret. He twisted his face and covered his mouth and whispered to the assistant, dry socket. She winked and nodded knowingly to him, put on a brave face for me, and shouted, Everythings going to be okay! A single tear crept from her eye over her sea-foam green facemask.

I grabbed my dentist by his sequined vest, twisted my fist into it, and asked him what the hell was going on. Were going to get a little handful of pills that will make it all better. It will make it all go away.

So I asked, big and loud, Whats a dry socket, doc?

Shh, please, he shushed me and put a latex gloved hand over my eyes and cheek. Please. We dont want to alert...

Re: A Little Humor

feeds@yuku.com (Elaine2004) — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 21:47:04 PST

One evening Ole and Sven are sitting in the bar getting drunk.

Ole turns to Sven and asks, "Ven do you suppose dose girls are gonna make out vit us?"

Swen says, "Donno, but I'm drunk enuf to go ask em!"
So off they go to the apartment where Ole knocks on the door.

Lena answers and says, "Vell, Ole and Sven, come on in!"

Ole no more than gets in the door when he says, "Ve yust come to find out ven you girls are gonna make out vit us."

Lena is really upset by this and throws them both out, slamming the door on them. Ole is persistent and knocks on the door again.

Lena isn't stupid, she knows it's Ole and says, "Ole if you are gonna be so forward, you'll have to talk through the keyhole."

So Ole bends to the keyhole and asks, "Ven you girls gonna make out vit us?"

Lena is really upset now. She drops her pants, backs up to the keyhole, and breaks wind. As Ole is backing...

A Little Humor

feeds@yuku.com (Elaine2004) — Fri, 27 May 2005 13:45:43 PST

I was going to start a joke thread sooner but slipped my mind. Anyway, I don't remember the jokes I used to but every once in awhile I come across a cute one. So feel free to post your funnies!
Elaine